Triggered memoriez
Monday, September 29, 2008 11:26 PM
Cant help tinkg o all d tingz he did n said. Even d air freshener reminds me o him. He bought one n puts in d hall. She said if derz 1 in d kitchen then it'l b gd. Nxt ting we knew, der were 3. D 3rd was in d master bedrm.
Earlier in the evening i went to ghufran for asar n as i looked down fr d 2nd storey, i rmbr how i used to try scanning the area for his scooter or for his voice or his face. now all of that is just a memory. Then in d packed 27, i saw my wiz n d blu crumpler-look-alike bag i had. Wiz was his very last prezi for me. All bcoz i was tellg him d smile shutter fn was so cool while lookg thru d sony catalogue we got thru d mail. D blu bag he got fr SP. Itz my fav..alongside d red quiksilver bag he bought me while in kl. Yes i'm pampered. He pampers me so. Mayb coz i'm d only gal. Tat makes it even harder for me not to cry every time ppl ask me abt him or say sumting to comfort me at havg lost him. But if itz in front o her, then i try to keep my eyez dry. Coz he pamperz her even more. He treatz her like a queen n i know she cldnt ask for someone better. She still criez. I know she does. Org bleh kata 'Redhakan pemergiaannya. Dia meninggal dlm bulan ramadhan. Insyaallah tmptnya terjamin disisi Allah.' It still doesnt make it any harder. It still doesnt make it less painful or less sad. But i'm still grateful for those who offer wordz of comfort n concern. Thank u fr d bottom o my heart.
N you know what? I always rmbr how he always said "aku lain lah. aku kan hensem. hensem mcm nabi yusof (a.s.)" when he teases her. I will always agree coz he IS most hensem to me (right next to d kid). Even when they kafan him, he still looked hensem. N of coz i'd miss the way he calls me "my baby". "org mkn tak pedas, dia kepedasan. Betul nya my baby lah dekni" hehe...
i should be...
Saturday, September 27, 2008 12:02 AM
time check: 0003 according to babyMac
i shd be sleeping but i'm not.
i finally managed to change my blogskin. now that i know how to do it... i'll personalize it further next time. not in the mood for it right now.
i don't seem to be in the mood these days.
blame it on what?
nothing. not blaming. not pointing fingers. nada.
bought sushi today. thought along n wifey would be around for iftar but they didn't. so she didn't get to try them. shared them with lil bro (n k.mel took one. the one n only without seaweed.) coz he's the only one other than me who eats them.
was feeling rather perky this morning... i mean yesterday morning.
mom seemed to have gotten better coz she was doing some cleaning. but maybe i expected too much coz when i reached home in the evening, she was back to lying around and looking forlorn. ok maybe not forlorn but somewhere along that line. but at least she's laughing along with the kidz antix. she just needs more time.
i should learn to cook. it's not that i dunno totally. it's just not my forte. =P ah well... i still need to learn. what else?
i think i'll do a little to-do list right now. here goes:
- learn to cook dishes
- make mom smile more, make her worry less
- get a cpf paying job/ contribute to own cpf
- finish up sewing zeeze's stuffs by 10 oct 08
- kadak puasa 10 hari a.s.a.p
- find a relief teacher so that i can have my 1-2 weeks break in dec 08 (padahal if i were to go for haj, i'll be gone for 1 month and that time sup didn't ask me to find my own relief. how double standard. life's like that. full of double standards. bleargh!)
they're not in any order. random list off the top of my head.
oh! n ipul's in town. yeah! duno if i'll get to meet up wif him though. he's here for a week. so da boy will be around for eid.
n i chat with wilson (a pri sch fren) on thu nite. he's in town too... till tue only. hopefully will b able to meet up with him in dec when he comes here again.
n sup told me that her BiL knows daddy. dunno fr where though. he said that that fri, daddy waas joking around with them. told her that daddy always jokes around. =) that's what i love about daddy. always with that smile of his and cracking silly jokes and playing around with words. auw shux! now i miss him so...
oh ya! sam called me on thu afternoon. he asked if i was ok. he told me that ust irwan announced during the iftar that daddy passed away. so he knew even before i told him via email. n i cried. n i tried to hide the fact that i cried. but sam sensed it anyway. n when he said "kak jangan nangis lah kak" i couldn't help but laugh. ya... i know i'm weird like that. cry and laugh at the same time. insane in the membrane. maybe that's why i'm still single. haiz...
ok this is getting depressing. after i told adha (this evening) i found my reason to smile, i start feeling depress? i really am insane! or maybe i'm not crazy, i'm juz a little unwell, i know rite now you can't tell.
ritez then... i should get some sleep. tomorrow... i mean later today have to work then tuition.
met da sis today. havent met her since her bday, since she got a bf, since dad passed away... doesnt really matter since when. juz tat we met today. not yesterday. nor tomorrow. nor d day after. wat matters is today. or so i'd like to believe. but somehow i cant seem to stop myself fr limbo-ing to d past. tsk~ move on, yaney!
anyway, we met. though it was only a short while. i didnt mind. it wasnt even planned. it was my lunch break n she was kinda lost(?). where d heck is thomson medical centre (at least i think that's where she was heading)? *shrugz* we talked in that short 20-30min of meet up. her family's gg through a rough patch as well. may Allah give both of us the strength to face these trialz. at least she has a sweet sweet bf to lean on. yeah he's sweet. he even called me d other day. for wat? to apologize for spending so much time wif her n as a result she spends less time wif me. =P cute eh? havent met him in person though. i hope he stays sweet. coz if he doesnt n if he ever break her heart... he's gona get it fr me. ni akak warning siang2 eh. haha...
darn~ y is the pix taking so long to upload. it's only one miserable pix lah seh. tsk... buat org no mood je. dah lah no mood to go to work. no mood to celebrate raya. no mood to do anything but sleep sleep sleep...
Hye kak yanie, it been so long you are not online,so how are u??by the way i be coming to sg this friday innsyaallah and cant wait to see u again. ^o^ and by theway ur blogdrive has problem.i cant send my tag to ur blogdrive blog.
Daddy dearest... I miss you so
Sunday, September 14, 2008 3:10 AM
U went away so suddenly It seems like a bad dream But itz not a dream Itz all too real I cant stop d rivuletz fr wetting my cheekz I miss you so daddy Miss you...so Luv you lotz...n lotz...n lotz 06041948-13092008
Please stay strong. Its never easy loosing a love especially one very very close to us.I could never imagine how it would feel but I do know it would never be easy after experiencing what I did 5 days ago.
'A'zama-Ilahu Ajraka wa Ahsana 'Azaa-ka wa Ghafara Li-Mayyitika wa Alhamaka Sabran wa Ajzala Lana ZaaLika Bis-Sabri Ajran'
May Allah enhance your recompense and be generous in your calamity and forgive the deceased and induce you with patience and multiply for us and for you recompense through patience.
" To Allah belongs what He takes and to Him belongs what He gives.And there is a set time by Him for everything. Do exercise patience and expect reward(from Allah SWT.)."
Cobbler, Cobbler
Thursday, September 4, 2008 1:03 PM
Cobbler, cobbler mend my shoe Get it done by half past two (Oh darn! I forgot wat comes aftr tat.)
I got 1 of my shoes fixed. The front part o d solez came apart. N itz really irritating to walk n walk n suddenly u feel like tripping coz d sole foldover. :p Now no more irritation caused by d shoe! D cobbler spread glue n even knock 3 nails into it. Hehe..now confirm it wont open up. Cost me $5 for a pair.
just a girl lost in a world of make-believe. looking to fit in yet stand out from the crowd so that someone will tell her that she's special. love to dance in the rain and walk in the sun. Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.
High School Musical 3 DVD
Trip to Japan, Spain, Cairo and Paris
A guy who accepts me for who i am, loves me with everything he has and protects me without suffocating me
A black pair of mary janes
A song composed just for me Satio mobile phone
, at
September 24, 2008 at 4:04 AM
chocyGurlz, at
September 14, 2008 at 9:35 PM
